Day 7 of 2015 and probably “so far so good” with your New Year’s resolutions. You are feeling good, disciplined, and on the right track. What happens to you next Monday when you are back in your second week at work, driving children to school again and plunging into a familiar routine? How do you plan to keep this optimism going for longer than a few more days or weeks or a month? If you are Orthodox, you get a second chance next week, if you are not, maybe a good time to tweak your resolution?
Resolutions are about priorities and as we all know, we need to prioritise in order to reach our goals. Through Life Coaching, I have really learned and understood this process and especially, to notice the impact multitasking has on me and my surroundings. What happens to you when you are doing too much at once? What do you notice?
My signals are clear; sore shoulders and neck, my posture slouches, I lose eye contact with whoever I am speaking, I eat too fast, I don’t smile, my answers are brief and I become quite bitchy – not good for anyone! What are your signals?
When juggling all your balls, you need to decide which one matters the most, just like in Life Coaching. You don’t want to just check a box after a workout or after drinking 1 litre of water or after having made small talk with a colleague, so you can feel good about yourself. Or maybe you do?
Do you want a REAL long lasting change with a clear impact?
Here are my 7 suggestions for REALLY keeping a resolution:
The choice is yours. Pick just one ball and focus on it and imagine where you will be in 3 months, 6 months and 1 year from now. How will that look like and feel like?
Any thoughts or comments, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
As I began writing tomorrow’s coaching blog on the curiosity of Mindfulness, I got totally distracted at the the thought of how much I was enjoying being home alone without my husband and children for the last 2 days. Here I am on a Friday night, sitting on our favourite sunken couch, in front of a roaring fire with a Kir Royal, listening to Spotify from my computer, having just had a coaching sample session on Skype.
What am I noticing? My coaching, awareness and curiosity kicks in. The silence in the house, the smell of the fireplace, the sound of the crackling wood, my breathing, my heartbeat, my slouching posture, the bubbles bursting in my mouth and how utterly relaxed I feel and connected to myself.
My husband has sent me a great photo of his walk with the kids in pouring rain, my daughter called me a few times during my Skype coaching session and we SMSd each other goodnight, I know they are all well with their grandparents and they know I am well at home.
There are a few of perspectives one could have to this;
Guilty perspective: feeling bad that I chose not stay in the countryside longer with my family, spending more time with our children during this school break, catching up with my parents-in-law, supporting my husband by taking more interest in his farming challenges due to bad weather. Maybe I should have stayed? My Saboteur is awake.
Me perspective: I am happy that I returned home, had quality time with the children at the beginning of the holidays, I smile looking back at our 35 km biking trip we all did along the Danube on Monday, loved our DVD family evening last weekend. I am feeling happy, satisfied, loved, totally relaxed and living at my pace. Can’t wait for them to pick me up tomorrow to go out for lunch together!
Achievement perspective: In an empty house, I spent hours cleaning and sorting piles, removing all expired foods, spices, vinegars from the cupboards, did a huge food shopping, worked on a new script for my website’s video, caught up on emails, read many articles and had a couple of sample sessions. I am energised, I feel I have achieved so much, I am proud and I don’t need to roll my eyes when I see a pile of “stuff” lying around (long may that last!).
The reaction I chose is the “me perspective.” As a parent, we have so much to juggle everyday and our challenge is to keep those balls in the air always going. The last 2 days reminded me to put those balls down, rest my arms, my eyes, my head and take time for me. I am aware that not everyone has a similar opportunity, so find a space which is yours and only yours, close the door, and connect with yourself, even if it is for a short time.
We make choices every day in our lives, but some can be made consciously. To be aware of choices is to be aware of the power of choosing. You are fully in charge of your choices!
To discover that power, contact me for a coaching session and you can expect your awareness to be boosted and more….
Ever notice when you have a good idea, a new project or an inspirational thought, that your Inner Critic, your Saboteur, wakes up and provokes you to think: ‘ I can’t run that’, ‘I’m too old’, ‘no one will be interested’, ‘I’m wasting people’s time’.” Before I knew anything about Coaching, I was unaware of the power of this Critic. Now that I am Coaching on a daily basis, I see Saboteurs affecting over 80% of my client’s plans and goals. Together we create the tools needed to get rid of these Critics.
I soon understood that preserving the status quo is part of the Saboteur’s job. The bigger our ideas and dreams, the more weight the Saboteurs will put on us. Saboteurs love to give us reasons why our thought is stupid, dangerous, ridiculous, useless, waste of time. What they are equally good at, is twisting a small part of the truth and creating a cover-up for stopping or goal or never letting us start it.
So here I am, at the age of 46, and I now know how to to recognise and deal with my own Saboteur…wish I had known about this perspective years ago!
Three Ways I Began Work with My Saboteur:
1) Awareness: how many times a day have I stopped myself from following through on an exciting project or idea? How many missed opportunities is that?
2) Asked Myself: who is this Inner Critic? What does it look like? How does it move? Does it have a smell? How can I describe this voice? I visualised it, really visualised it.
3) Named it: Naming it helped me deal with it directly – no one else needs to know!
These are just three of the several ways that can help you begin identifying your own Saboteur. Remember this…we are ALWAYS smarter, stronger, wiser and more resourceful than our Saboteurs!
(c) 2018 Anna Jankovich, all rights reserved.