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Asking Powerful Questions

2015. 02. 14.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions
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The Impact of Asking Powerful Questions

 

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Powerful questions are questions that make the other stop and think.  Literally. Usually, there is a “hmmm” and silence. These powerful questions are unexpected and thought provoking leading the person to look inside or into the future, discovering a new perspective. This is one of the most powerful tools in Life Coaching, which has integrated naturally in my everyday life.  They can be used in your professional life, as well, as in your personal life.  How you ask a question is vital to the answer you will receive. Become aware of how you ask questions and notice the impact it has.

 5  Common Mistakes when Asking: 

 

1) Closed Questions: usually can be answered by a “yes” or “no”, you will not get very far:

  • “Do you have any other options?”
  • “Is it that bad?”
  • “Did you speak with your colleague about it?”

As oppose to questions beginning with “what” or “how”…

  •  “What are some other options?”
  • “What makes the situation so negative?”
  • “How did your colleague react when you spoke with him/her?”

2)  WHY Questions:  immediately, the other person feels on the defensive (even children and teens). They feel they need to explain, justify, protect themselves:

  • “Why did you decide to hire this candidate?”
  • “Why are you resisting?”
  • “Why did you not clean your dishes?”

 Instead of…

  • “What made you decide this candidate should be hired?”
  • “ What are you resisting?”
  • “ What prevented you from doing your dishes today?”

3)  Implications: these are questions that imply an answer:

  • “Don’t you need to discuss this with your Spouse before agreeing?”
  • “Shouldn’t you share that research with the others?”
  • “Isn’t it better you stay at home with your cold?

Your inquiring mind can ask:

  •  “ I notice you value your Spouse’s opinion, would you like to ask him/her first and then we can agree.”
  • “You have always been an effective communicator. How can you engage your team in your research?”
  • “Would you feel better if you rested at home and recovered properly?”

4)  Keep it short:  Keep your questions short and to the point:

  •  “Apparently there is a new restaurant near our office that serves seafood, not sure from where, but I heard it was very good and maybe you would like to come with me and try it?”
  • “ We need to look at the different options for our ski trip and see which country we should consider together as a family and ask the children which sport they would like to do most, don’t you think?”

 Clearer…

  • ”Shall we try the new restaurant around the corner?”
  • “What sports do you want to do over the holidays and where?”

5)  One question at a time: too many questions and the person cannot focus and answer properly.

“ So what did she say? Did she like your proposal? Now what? When do you meet again?”

 Imagine…

” How did she react to your proposal?” (Silence). “Will you meeting again as a follow-up?”

Asking is a talent, like curiosity, intuition and listening.  Not everyone has that gift, however, through awareness and practice, you can learn to ask powerful questions!

Producing a Compelling Life Coaching Video

2015. 02. 08.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions
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Life Coaching Budapest Video

“As a Life Coach from Budapest, you need to make a video of yourself for your website,” some of my mentors suggested.  Producing a compelling Life Coaching video is daunting.  “People like to connect and they need to see who you are and how you sound before thinking of hiring some Life Coaching from Budapest.”

I postponed the idea till my Life Coaching website was done and even my web designer said, “you know what would be good on your website, a video of you speaking.”  OK, got the message.

Being photographed for my website was already a hurdle, as I do not like having my picture taken at all, especially if the focus is only on me.  I did not want make-up, nor a hair stylist nor a special dress code. I wanted to be me, natural and authentic.  You like me how I am or you don’t, not very marketing like I know.

The thought of making a Life Coaching video, already gave me knots in my stomach and sweaty palms. I have never done this and speaking into a camera so close up appeals to me even less, let alone to know that I can be exposed to the whole world – I cherish privacy.  I found a young team who guided me through the steps, advised me on my delivery, my content and my timing and I bit the bullet, completely stepping out of my comfort zone.

For my 1:07 min video, we filmed for less than 3 hours.  As much as I knew my script, I had a hard time to focus, breathe, speak slowly, and simply remember my lines as I felt anxious and vulnerable.  The team was great and patient and finally it was done.  The final product came out well and although I may appear natural and give the impression I have done this before, it was a challenge! In fact, it was so challenging, that I decided to also add my Bloopers to my website, in a separate video, to show viewers that it was not easy, that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes.

My 10 tips for first timers:

 

  1. Keep it to under 1:30 min
  2. Practice, practice, practice…video yourself from your phone, speak in front a mirror
  3. Wear what you are comfortable in and ask if you need to hide a microphone on you or not
  4. Speak slowly and breathe (which means your text needs to be short and to the point)
  5. Film in a room that you like, where you feel at ease, preferably natural light, no noises or echos
  6. Have your text nearby or ask someone to prompt you if needed
  7. Prepare yourself for repetition, interruptions, moments of frustrations
  8. Smile – smiles are attractive and releases stress on your face
  9. Laugh out loud and laugh at yourself – no one is perfect!
  10. Imagine the feeling already now when the video is done

Most importantly, have fun with it.  Here are my Bloopers and for a more serious video on my Life Coaching from Budapest, just go to my HOME page.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Coaching and Multitasking – How It Helps Me

2015. 01. 24.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions
0 comment(s)

Life Coaching and Multitasking

 

PerilsOfMultitasking

 

Like many of us, I have always multitasked, both at work and at home. The more I have to do or was given, the more adrenaline I would get.  There is a saying along the lines of “if you want a task done, give it to the busiest person,” that has always been me.

During one of my Life Coaching trainings, in Oslo, I remember one of the trainers asking us, “How does multitasking look like for you? Take a moment and draw a picture of it in your head and step into that feeling.”  I had an image of me juggling many balls at the same time and walking around between work and home, looking up and down and feeling a slight pain in my neck and shoulders.  I could feel my heart beating strongly and eventually my arms and legs getting sore from being in the same stance the whole time.  I also felt the moment I could let one ball go, soon to be replaced by another and continue. I felt tired.

Next question, “How do you WANT to picture multitasking?” Immediately, I had an imagine of calmness.  I pictured myself in my own space, with sunlight, music, a comfortable chair and many different coloured baskets around me, each with its own task.  I wanted to be aware of what was around me and I did not want to feel any strain on my body.  The picture was becoming clearer and clearer. I felt calm.

Managing time is not about squeezing as many tasks as possible in a day. It is about making clearing space to make time for yourself, for your family/social life and your rest.

This is one of the most common issues I encounter with my clients, during our Life Coaching sessions, as they seek new tools for multitasking their challenges between work and home.  In Life Coaching, clients create their own plan of action and I hold them accountable for it, which proves to be very effective and I myself learn along the way.

Here are 10 Successful Tools my clients have created for themselves and achieved:

 

  1. PostIts: prioritising tasks by different PostIt colours into 3 categories ie. “important, need, want” and sticking them on a visible space.  As a task is completed, a PostIt is removed. Great measuring tool!
  2. Time Slots: allocating their tasks into time slots and sticking to them, one at a time.
  3. Turning Off Tones: switching off any message signals from their devices.
  4. Informing Others: writing a message/email informing senders that they are not available to reply until a given hour (this also manages their expectations).
  5. Moving: in between tasks to exercise, stretch, get some air, change rooms, take a walk, a quick meditation.
  6. Asking Themselves:  is this really the wisest way of using my time?
  7. Learning to Say NO: not easy at all and accepting that it’s OK that they can’t do it all.
  8. Motivation: imagining how they will feel when the tasks are done. Music, audio books while driving, quotations, articles are all tools they use.
  9. Recording: taking notes how much time a day they take to shower/dress, have another cup of coffee, use social media, chatting to others, working, shopping and then analysing it.
  10. Decluttering: cleaning up a desk, a room, an office which gives them more time to spend working, and less time searching for what they are looking for.

Thanks to Life Coaching and to some of my client’s tools,  I am achieving this calmness slowly and because I want it so badly, my awareness reminds me of it.   My achievements are greater, more efficient, focused and organised.  I have to admit that it is not always easy. However, it does get easier everyday! Life Coaching and multitasking go hand in hand.

One thing that I can promise you, there are 24 hours in a day to do what you want. So what do you need to do to reach this fulfilment?