Back to reality after the summer holidays. For many of us, it feels like the real “New Year.” We come back home with fresh ideas, energies, clarity, plans and actions.
I was fortunate to have been able to spend more time with many friends and cousins. As we shared updates in our lives, many opened up to me with challenges they are facing in variety of relationships. Some feel lost, scared, frustrated, sad and not at ease. The common denominator is that they are choosing to deal with their issues by “sweeping it under the carpet”, ignoring it.
If you are OK with that and it is not an obstacle in your life, that may be the right choice for you. If you suffer from that, this does not help, it hurts.
Many people do not like conflict. They fear the other person’s reactions. The truth may be too painful to hear, the consequences may be terrible. They may also feel it is not a priority and everyone hopes that there is another way of resolving an issue. We want to manage expectations. Sometimes, they are not met resulting in disappointment. In my coaching and workshops, this is a common problem.
You can live 95% of your life full-on and enjoy every moment of it, however, the other 5% that you have chosen to ignore and that has caused you pain, will at some point come back in your life haunting you.
To keep things in perspective, there are always other opportunities that present themselves that we did not expect.
The choice is yours, what do you want?
This week was a week of perspectives as I travelled for a long weekend along the Italian coast visiting with three different friends and then carried on overnight to Austria where I reconnected with some family friends I had not seen in over 15 years. The visits were all far too short, especially that everyone of them shared with me their present challenges from mourning, to separation, to divorce to strained family relationships. I felt honored and happy that they could all open to me as a friend, not as a Coach and I hope that I could share with them new perspectives, as well as putting things into perspective presenting it as a gift.
It is so easy for us to lose perspective in our daily challenges and everything appears to be going from bad to worse. When we experience a setback, perspective is often the first cause for a meltdown. Setbacks are unavoidable. As hard as they are, they make us stronger and develop us. We can only grow if we maintain perspective.
As many of us spend some holiday time with our families or in-laws this summer, keep perspectives in mind and take some steps back to look at the bigger picture. I know I will and this week, my friends gave me a gift…appreciation.
We all experience failure in our lives and we all have a choice between whether to get up when we fall down or keep moving forward.
I have just stepped out of my comfort zone BIG TIME, by being photographed professionally and making a video for the launching of my website. I felt a sense of excitement and great vulnerability as I reached my challenge and goal.
“Do you have a make-up artist or shall we arrange one?” asked the photographer. Make-up artist??? The only time I have worn make-up, in my life, was the day of our wedding, where the photographer begged me to at least have the “bare minimum”put on – I understood the impact of the wedding photos and so I agreed to…the “bare minimum.”
This time round, my choice and perspective was to stay natural. I have defined wrinkles, my skin complexion is far from perfect and I could have used a haircut, but that is who I am and that is the impact I want to have. I have nothing to hide, plus seeing that I had another hurdle in front of me after the photo session (the video), I needed to be bien dans ma peau (feel well about myself).
Public speaking is something I am familiar with, but to speak in front of a camera is not at all. My mentors and coaches all encouraged me to make a video so that viewers can “see who you are, feel your energy and connect with you.” Practically speaking, I thought with a name like mine (full version Anna Jankovich de Jeszenice – Troubetzkoi) it may be good for viewers to hear that I do speak English with a neutral accent!
Vulnerability is a value that I have come to appreciate lately. Luckily, it is never too late to make changes in one’s life and no one is perfect. So here I am in “black and white.”
(c) 2018 Anna Jankovich, all rights reserved.