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Monthly Resolutions

2016. 01. 03.

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What Are You Waiting For?

Another year begins and “new year’s resolutions” become again a topic of conversation.  Some of us have a few in mind and some of us don’t bother because we already know it won’t last.

Change is never easy and as my grandfather used to say “things always work out for the better at the end”, whether the change was easy or difficult.

How about monthly resolutions?  Thirty days is enough to make a change in your life, if you are consistent everyday.  In fact, it may become so routine that it will be natural and part of your life.

Below are some personal development traits that I blogged about in the last year and a half, which may inspire you for your monthly resolutions.

1) Multitasking: There are 24 hours in a day to do what you want.  So what do you need to do to reach this fulfilment?  http://annajankovich.com/2015/01/lifecoaching-and-multitask/

2) Smile: You don’t need to be happy or cheerful to smile.  You can be happy and smile for others in their lives, for an article you just read, a meal you just ate, a song you just heard, a pet you just crossed, a view, a comfortable chair, a clean desk…anything! http://annajankovich.com/2015/01/smile-you-not-on-camera/

3) Slow Down: What keeps you from slowing down and what is that risk to you? http://annajankovich.com/2015/04/can-you-slow-down/

4) Asking: Asking powerful questions is a talent like curiosity, intuition and listening.  http://annajankovich.com/2015/02/asking-powerful-questions/

5) Acknowledgement: What is the impact you want to have on others? http://annajankovich.com/2015/06/the-impact-of-acknowledgement/

6) Listening: What do you need to do to be a good listener? http://annajankovich.com/2015/05/listening-prison/

7) Feedback or Feedfoward: Which do you prefer to choose? http://annajankovich.com/2015/12/feedback-or-feedforward/

8) Courage: Stepping Out Into The Unknown. http://annajankovich.com/2015/09/stepping-out-into-the-unknown/

So what are you waiting for?

Always nice to hear from followers who share their thoughts. Keep them coming at coaching@annajankovich.com and follow me for weekly inspirations on https://www.facebook.com/lifecoachannajankovich/. Wishing everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Feedback or Feedforward?

2015. 12. 13.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions

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Feedback or Feedforward?

‘Tis the season for employers and employees to sit down and assess their year’s performance, establish goals for next year, evaluate what worked or did not work, share tips on improvements and hopefully celebrate as well.  The same holds true for children and students who sit down with their parents and share their report cards, following a similar pattern to businesses.

Usually, when one hears the word “feedback”, there is a dissonance.  There is an initial “oh,oh” reaction both from the givers and receivers and as helpful as it is, many of us struggle with how to present it properly or how to accept it effectively.  “Feedback” should be constructive, not destructive, it’s not an attack, it’s a gift.  So as a different perspective, why not call it “feedforward?”  That word has resonance.

As a new service this year, Coaching Transitions launched a series of workshops on a variety of topics. After each workshop, I ask all my participants for their “feedforward” and created a “Feedforward Form.” I can’t go back and change anything, but I can listen to their suggestions and remarks and plan forward.

Giving and receiving this gift is an important part of communication, be it at home, at work or anywhere else.  How it is communicated is as important and here are some of my Coaching tools that you may find valuable.

Six Tools for giving “Feedforward”

  1. Equals: speak to each other as equals, on the same level, as partners. You both want a “win-win” situation.
  2. Timing: let people know ahead of time and allocate proper time.  Have all your info ready and resources available.  Do not rush.
  3. Behaviors: who is an extravert and who is an introvert?  We don’t all react in the same way. You need to adjust your tone, your voice, your body language, your words to every character type.  Know your character types.
  4. Space: give them space to listen, digest, think, speak and ask any questions they may have.
  5. Curious: ask them what they want, what they need for improvement, how do they see it, “what if?” All this makes brainstorming together easier and strengthens partnership.
  6. Praise: we all like to feel valued and appreciated.

Six Tools for receiving “Feedforward”

  1. Listen: do not interrupt and listen to everything being said. If you are thinking of what to answer back, you’re not listening.
  2. Notes: take notes for clarity and circle keywords as reference.
  3. Patience: be patient, remain calm, breathe.
  4. Notice Your Body: what message is your body language giving?  How are you sitting? Are your arms crossed? How does your face feel? Your heart beat?
  5. Ask Questions: this helps you pin down specifics.
  6. Acknowledge: it does not mean you agree with everything that was said, but that you are recognizing that the person has taken the time for you and simply thank them.

What gift do you want to give or receive?  “Feedback” or “feedforward?”

 

Always nice to hear from followers who share their thoughts. Keep them coming at coaching@annajankovich.com and follow me for weekly inspirations on https://www.facebook.com/lifecoachannajankovich/. Wishing everyone happy holidays and a healthy new year!

Empowerment in an Argument

2015. 11. 16.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions

Empowerment and Mindfulness

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“How to keep calm in an argument is one of those lessons in life we should have been taught in school,” a client of mine said, as he struggled with a colleague at work.  Helas, most of us find out the hard way by actually not keeping calm and letting the argument spiral downwards leading to a negative outcome.

His remark struck an instant cord with me, as I have been one of these emotional, lashing-out types, which I have blamed on my Russian blood and my French impatience (need to blame it on something!).  When I flared up,  I was convinced of what I was saying and the louder I got, the more I thought my message would be stronger.  Then a few years ago, at the same time I was discovering Coaching and understanding mindfulness, I was on the receiving end and being lashed out at.  I was struck by the nastiness of it and actually felt empathy for that person.  I began seeing an argument from another angle.

Arguments can happen anywhere; work, home, families, taxis, shops, airports, restaurants and in any language.  Arguments don’t work; they are destructive, negative, exhausting, emotional, unresolved, hurtful and SUCH A WASTE OF TIME!

Take a moment and think back at an argument you had and remember that feeling. Step into it – what was your body language? How did you sound? What emotions were stirring?

Coaching has helped many of us in the last years, to look at an argument from a different angle. Instead of the familiar “emotional, lashing out perspective,” I now automatically choose the “calm perspective.”  On the rare occasion I feel a heated discussion rising, I am immediately aware of my own being and I know how I want to be.  I am mindful.

Here are 8 Mindfulness Tools to Empower You:

  1. Breathing: this gives you a few seconds to be calm, listen and gather your thoughts.
  2. Listening: if you are thinking what is the next thing you want to say, then you are not listening.
  3. Hearing: Hear your own words and listen consciously to what you are saying.
  4. Never Shout: when shouting you lose control and it is hard to think clearly.
  5. Body Language: stay open like your mind, sit/stand grounded, look at the person in the eyes, avoid crossed arms, frowning, pointing, keep your focus on them                                                                                                                             (TIP: if looking in the eyes is difficult for you, look in between the other person’s eyes…it looks as though you are staring right at them, but you are not!)
  6. Avoid Scolding: insults are the ultimate tool of ignorance!
  7. Space: hold that space to let the other “get it all out.”
  8. Drop Your Ego: forget your ego and aim for a “win-win” situation, which could be compromise

Two More Things to Remember:

  • Don’t use a present argument to list all the misconducts from the past, do you want to be dragged back in the past?
  • Lashing out is a way of someone expressing how they really feel and shows a total lack of self-control. By staying calm, YOU empower yourself.

Who do you want to be in your next argument?  Any comments or thoughts, feel free to email me at coaching@annajankovich.com

 

 

“Walk the Talk”

2015. 09. 22.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions

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Walk the Talk, Don’t Talk the Talk

Another meeting, another closed door, another chair to sit on. What do you notice before stepping into a meeting?  Are you fired up, is your energy depleting, are you dreading it, are you nervous, will you be heard? 

What if that meeting took place outdoors?  What impact would that have?  

Just imagine right now…stepping out onto the street with your colleague or your boss.  Do you feel your body physically moving?  The air changing? The temperature difference?  There is a shift in your energy.  Despite the distractions that there may be on the street, the conversation involves just the two of you. Notice children tend to be more open and communicative in a car then around a table at dinner, ever question why?  That is because they do not have eye contact with the parent who is driving.  Same with meetings.

The fact that there is little eye contact, as you watch where you walk, allows each of you to have more space to think, to be creative and to react at your own pace. When we breathe deeply, we create more space in our bodies, in our minds and more brain function. As a result, we become more efficient and are able to generate new ideas and thoughts.

The dynamics in relationships also change, as you both walk the same pace, at the same time.  You are equals.  There is no hierarchy or looking at each other across a desk or boardroom.

Lastly, by stepping out of offices, you simply get your heart pumping, your blood circulating and feeding your brain oxygen.  Golf is a prime example of such a combination and you “walk the talk and not talk the talk.”  In Russia, they offer another perspective, a type of traditional sauna called the “banya.”  Everyone sits together naked, equipped with a felt hat (against the intense heat) and a bundle of birch branches (used to whip yourself to ensure better blood circulation).  As the sweating begins, so does the talking. Depending on the levels of the talks, vodka accompanies the discussions and before you know it, you have reached an agreement with a towel wrapped around you, feeling re-energized and never forgetting this moment!

So what is holding you back from having you next meeting outdoors?  

Feel free to contact me through my website www.annajankovich.com or share an experience by emailing me at coaching@annajankovich.com

Life Skills Missing?

2015. 09. 09.
Anna Jankovich
Anna Jankovich
Coaching Transitions

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Life Skills

Budapest has just launched a new English community guide to help individuals, professionals and families live a healthy lifestyle.  It is called Active8 and is full of great services that keep your body and mind sharp and fit.  There are 8 easy-to-follow sections that span the full range of active living opportunities, Life Skills, being one of them.

Coaching Transitions is grateful for the opportunity to be a featured as a partner in its first issue which includes a short interview and photos.

“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.”

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